Skip to main content

As If I'd Never Been Away

   The time has come to put ink to quill, and subsequently quill to paper, metaphorically speaking. Now that Christmas, New Year's and Valentine's Day are out of the way, I can get back to where I left off in 2014.

The last 745 days haven't passed without incident. Far from it...

2015

- I turned 28
- Took a trip to the land down under
- Finally won employee of the month outright
- Rode shotgun along The Autobahn
- Lost my wallet on a train
- Celebrated turning 28 1/2
- Bore witness to the magic of the FA Cup
- Burnt a chocolate bar in a microwave
- Hit up NYC


2016

- Turned 29
- Wrote a new poem (see below)
- Failed to master Spanish
- Voted 'Remain'
- Explored South America
- Spent a harrowing 43 hours on a single bus journey
- Made it to 29 1/2
- Trekked Machu Picchu
- Climbed Colca Canyon
- Walked a Puma
- Retrieved my stolen wallet in a nightclub (the replacement wallet to that mentioned above)
- Experienced the sensation of love again
- Saw a waterfall


2017 (so far)

- Said goodbye to my 20's
- Twisted my knee
- Picked up a guitar
- Commenced my search for a new job

   The tragedy is, I wrote about none of it. What the hell was I thinking? WELL NO MORE, I bellow, hoping that isn't what others shout when they get to the end of my post. Henceforth, I'll do what I was put on this planet to do, create literary wonderment, on my own in a dark room, during my leisure time.

   I should note that I'm totally viewing this in my mind as a sequel. We'll call it Tommy 2.0.17. On this subject, two of the greatest sequels of all time, The Godfather Part II and The Empire Strikes Back, did take longer than 745 days to be released, so in that sense, I'm ahead of the game. On the flipside, that was the 70's*, when efficiency can be best described as lackadaisical.

*Technically, The Empire Strikes Back was released in the 80's, however my argument still stands.

Poetry Corner

 Dedicated to all those celebrities whose deaths I failed to report in 2016


Alone he draws breath, the Northern line chunter
Good commute gone bad, butter candy chunder
Creamy filled pellets, imprisoned in his cell
High Barnet through Morden, a lifeless new hell
"Suck it, confused grandad", come taunts at the door
Worthless original, like during the war

Transported back again, toxic mist cascades
Entanglement ensues, during midnight raids 
Mortar and pestle, a maid doth prepare tea
A yearning nostalgia, the chance to be free
"Wake up, you old bat", the fat controller chimes
Demons subside, on this most northern of lines

Labels:
Location: London, UK

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Calling All Office Fans

    Who's been to the Coventry Conference? Ah yes, the fictional Coventry Conference, co-ordinated by the equally fictional Eric Hitchmough . A man whom I've never fictionally met, or even seen, yet know so much about. From his little withered hand, the wanking claw , to his signature catchphrase, ' I don't agree with that in the workplace !' Eric is... and that is what I want.    If I've lost you, I can only assume you're not quite the fan of The Office that I called for in the title of this post, or I'm not the writer that I think I am! Allow me to explain...    T he Office is the single greatest sitcom of all time, sure, so it makes sense for it's legion of fans to have a social outlet to congregate and quote the show to their heart's content. The Facebook group ' Do You Not Know Who ERIC HITCHMOUGH Is' ,  DYNKWEHI , provides such a platform.    With it's mix of quality quoting, imaginative imagery and creative commenting,
Post a Comment
Read more

London Actually

   London has literally been around forever. With a multitude of sights, sounds, smells and tastes, there's something for everyone. In the past month, I myself have begun to scratch the surface on weekends. Come forth and let me share my experiences. Or, if you want to know what it's really like, watch Love Actually .    My first jaunt was to a cinema so secret, it's called Secret Cinema . The date was Sunday 5th March, the film Moulin Rouge . For those unfamiliar with the concept, you while away an evening in a purpose built set, combining live action performances with a screening of the film in question. Nothing's secret really, as the film and location are provided beforehand. Presumably, this is so people aren't left wandering the streets, wondering what they've signed up for.    Photos are strictly forbidden, but I'd describe my venture to late 19th century Montmartre as boozy, magical and slightly embarrassing, when one of the actors tried to make
Post a Comment
Read more

(Joint) Employee Of The Month...

...isn't something to be sniffed at. Just because I wasn't good enough to win it outright doesn't make me sad in the slightest. So when the honour was bestowed upon Internet Enquiries earlier this year, in one of the summer months' beginning with 'J', I was pleasantly surprised. Fast forward to November, a month beginning with 'N' that falls somewhere in the middle of autumn, and we'd finally settled on a location for our victory meal. It was a triple celebration for myself, having of course also won Morsel of the Month in September and having had a haircut in October. The meal itself went off without a hitch. We even found someone with a disposable camera to take a picture of us... The team: circa 1996/97 - 2014 ...I only managed a starter and main myself, but had a lovely selection of cheese and crackers waiting for me on my return home. It's at this juncture I feel it appropriate to plot my 2014 achievements on a line gra
Post a Comment
Read more